Tuesday 25 April 2017 – The Fast and the Furious: The Toddler Sequel.

Side note: Before I begin, I am going to be having surgery tomorrow afternoon and yes, I’m fucking shitting my pants.  Nothing major – it’s just leg surgery but I will be in a cast for a month (at least) and Charlotte is going to be doing everything. That being said, I may be a bit vacant for a while while I recover.  Please send virtual grapes to my Twitter and Facebook (links below). 

Now, earlier today, I was at work and it was a normal day.  I was in my office, checking blog stats and charlotte was at home looking after the monsters… or was she?

Charlotte called me and she sounded like a dirty phone call. “What’s going on?” I said, trying not to get too ‘excited’ from hearing Charlotte panting. “You will not believe what has just happened” she replied. 

She was out walking the dogs and had returned home.  Due to the ridiculously idiotic architect, you can’t walk to the front door with the pram because the architect (the fucking clown-shoe architect) had decided to add a small wall at the side of the front door.  The only reason I can think of for this design, was to annoy the fuck out of people like me.  But I digress; Charlotte left the pram to one side with the brake ‘on’.  As she was unlocking the door, she heard a thud and a little voice shouting “Da-Da!” As she turned around, the pram that contained my son and daughter, shooting down the small but sleep hill outside our house! Straight across the road, somehow ramping up the curb on the opposite side of the road, like two toddler Tony Hawks. Thankfully, the adrenaline filled journey was ended by the huge tree acting like a pissed off wooden road-block.  

Luckily the monsters were fine, and Noah especially enjoyed what was probably the most exciting experience in his short life so far. Amelia was oblivious by the entire affair, if anything the Mad Max-esque trip sent her into a deeper sleep than usual!  

Another side-note: I’m going to miss my monsters and Charlotte tomorrow, even though it’s only an overnight stay after the op.  They will be there with me in spirit. I know they will.  I’ve also been promised a takeaway kebab night on Thursday upon my return. Jackpot!

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