Tuesday 09 May 2017 – Lies We Tell Our Children.

Me and Char lie to our kids everyday, and we have no shame.  Most of these lies will help you, the parent, so…. you’re welcome!

  1. “When the ice cream van plays the music, it means they’ve run out of ice cream, sorry.”
  2. “No, you can’t have any of this chocolate, it has alcohol in it.”
  3. “Yes, everyone is going to bed, even mummy and daddy.”
  4. “Sorry, Toys R Us is closed now mate.” – 1PM on a Saturday afternoon.
  5. “Stop picking your nose, or your brain will fall out.”
  6. “Keep pulling that silly face and it’ll stay like that forever.”
  7. “We’ve got one of those at home.” – We haven’t…
  8. “Tell me the truth and you wont get in trouble.”
  9. “You can have ‘X’ when you’re ‘X’ years old”
  10. “Maybe!”
  11. “I’ll have a think about it.”
  12. “When you die you go to heaven”
  13. “The animal kingdom is all soft and cuddly.”
  14. “Sorry mate, my phone has gone sleepies.”
  15. “Wow!! That drawing is fantastic!”
  16. “You’ve gotta sleep otherwise Santa wont come.”
  17. “Mummy and I were just wrestling.”
  18. “Hold still mate, it wont hurt.”
  19. “See that Policeman? He’ll lock you up if you don’t behave.”
  20. “Carrots will help you see in the dark.”
  21. “Bread crust will give you curly hair.”
  22. “You’ll thank me one day, kid!”
  23. “Oh look, he’s got to sleep now.” – Switching off that annoying toy.
  24. “If you touch it, it’ll break.”
  25. “We’re almost there!”
  26. “When you lie, your nose grows.”
  27. “If you swallow apple seeds, a tree will grow in your belly.”
  28. “If you leave the house with wet hair, you’ll get sick.”
  29. “I didn’t bring my wallet with me today.”
  30. “You’ll go blind if you sit too close to the TV.”

Can you think of anymore?  Tweet me! Facebook me! (Links below!)

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