Thursday 25 May 2017 – Child Friendly-ish Poem.

I don’t know what sleep feels like,

I’m sure I will do soon,

For now I’ll have a coffee,

Or maybe even two,

But first I’ll change your nappy,

Or the house will smell of poo,

Now let’s find you some clothes,

And go and grab some food,

But first let’s change your sister,

It smells like she’s just pooed,

Both of you smell fresh now,

We can venture down the stairs,

Weetabix is messy,

So clothes – I’ll bring some spares,

Now you’re both fed and watered,

Let’s see what’s on the box,

Mr Tumble obviously who’s looking for odd socks,

I can’t stand this bloke,

He does your daddy’s head in,

What I’d give to land a jab on his 14th chin,

Mid-morning snack is imminent,

Don’t stress I’ll make some grub,

What’ll it be my lovely offspring,

Fish fingers and a hug,

Nice and full now that’s good news,

Can we please change the channel,

Bing is as exciting as a boring warm wet flannel,

The afternoon has broken now,

And soon it will be lunch,

Time for dad to play chef again,

And make you kids some munch,

More CBeebies in the afternoon,

I can’t believe my luck,

Shame every single presenter is a fu… suck,

Dinner time will soon be here,

No offence but I can’t wait,

‘Cuz after dins its bed time,

And CBeebies will meet its fate,

Now off to bed we trot,

Have a lovely sleep,

Please don’t wake up because it’s time,

For dad to rest his feet,

I love you both so very much,

Today has been a blast,

Now I can turn off Mr Tumble,

And watch Crystal Maze at last!

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